“You’re so talented and insightful—it’s amazing how much you take in. Understanding how you’re wired is just as important as understanding the world around you. Good for you for being proactive and leaning into this journey!”

“Great news! You can’t use the right tools if you don’t know the problem. And for the record, I wouldn’t change a thing about you even if I could.”

“No matter what diagnosis you receive, you’re loved beyond measure. Your mind is an exceptional gift, and it’s amazing to see you better understand and embrace it. You’re truly the gift that keeps on giving. Dial into your superpower and keep reaching for the stars!”

“You’ve always approached life with a high-functioning, positive attitude. Whether diagnosed or not, you’re still the same incredible person. Keep learning, honing your focus, and pushing yourself forward. Nothing changes that.”

“That must feel so validating! The answer to what you can achieve is truly anything you decide to set your mind to. Know this: I’m one of your biggest fans, always cheering you on.”

“A diagnosis like this makes sense—you’re in the company of incredibly successful and inspiring people. With the right mindset and tools, you’re an asset to the world, and I know you’ll thrive.”

“Does this offer new tools or insights to help you approach things differently? Or is it more of a learning process going forward? Either way, I hope it opens doors to new perspectives and opportunities for you.”

“As long as this helps you feel better and more in tune with yourself, that’s what truly matters. I’m so happy for you and proud of everything you’ve accomplished. This changes nothing about how amazing you already are to me and everyone who knows you. I’m just so grateful to have you as a friend, no matter the distance.”

“How wonderful to have a better understanding of yourself—it must feel empowering to navigate life with more clarity. Here’s to an incredible future ahead!”

Masking is the practice of hiding or suppressing traits and behaviors associated with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) to fit societal norms or expectations. It often involves pretending to be neurotypical in order to avoid judgment or misunderstanding. This can be physically and emotionally exhausting but is often done to navigate social situations and avoid negative consequences.

Why People with ASD Mask

1. Social Acceptance: Many people with ASD mask to avoid being perceived as “different” or socially awkward. Masking helps them blend in, reducing the likelihood of being excluded or criticized in social and professional settings.

2. Professional Expectations: In work or academic environments, people with ASD might mask to appear more “normal” to supervisors, colleagues, or peers, especially in hierarchical settings where social conformity is expected.

3. Fear of Judgment: The anxiety around being misunderstood or stigmatized can drive individuals to hide behaviors that may be considered unusual or inappropriate by societal standards.

4. Survival Mechanism: For some, masking is simply a way to survive in a world that may not accommodate or understand their differences. It can be a learned coping mechanism, especially if they grew up in environments that expected conformity.

Ways to Manage Masking

1. Mask as a Filter, Not a Persona: Rather than seeing masking as creating a separate identity, view it as a tool or filter to present a version of yourself that is appropriate for specific situations. This approach helps reduce emotional exhaustion by making the mask feel less like a full alter ego.

2. Conserve Energy: Masking can be draining, so it’s important to conserve energy when possible. Address sensory needs, like wearing earplugs or sunglasses, to maintain your stamina for social interactions where masking is necessary.

3. Selective Masking: Rather than masking in every situation, reserve it for essential interactions, such as professional settings or critical conversations. When possible, unmask in environments where it feels safe, allowing for moments of rest and self-expression.

4. Be Genuine Within Boundaries: Focus on being polite, cordial, and genuine within the social boundaries of a situation. This minimizes the emotional toll of masking, allowing you to maintain a sense of authenticity while adhering to social norms.

5. Balance Effort: Understand that both masking and unmasking can require significant effort. Strive for a balance between the two, recognizing when it’s worth expending the energy to unmask and when masking is necessary for self-preservation.

6. Use Practical Tools: Utilize structured strategies like the “MASKED” acronym—Mirror, Ask questions, Smile, Keep focus, Eye contact, Discuss—to manage interactions effectively while masking. This approach offers a methodical way to navigate social exchanges without overexertion.

Ultimately, masking is a coping strategy, but it’s important for people with ASD to find balance and know when it’s safe to let their true selves be seen.