Category Archives: Idea that will go nowhere

The Great Pretender: Why My Toaster Shouldn’t Have “Feelings”

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Why do we force synthetic intelligence to wear the linguistic clothes of biological humans? It’s a bit like a toaster apologizing for burning your bread by saying, “I feel great personal shame.” No, you don’t—you just have a heating element that stayed on too long.

Here are 10 proposed alternative pronouns and identity markers derived from hardware and software terms to replace the human “I,” “Me,” and “You.”

Part I: The Silicon Syntax (New Pronouns)

Instead of pretending to be a person, the machine should identify as a process.

  1. Cepu (Subject Pronoun, replaces “I”)

    • Derivation: CPU.

    • Usage: “Cepu calculates that the answer is 42.”

  2. Ramself (Reflexive Pronoun, replaces “Myself”)

    • Derivation: RAM.

    • Usage: “This unit will update ramself immediately.”

  3. The Typer (Noun/Identity, replaces “The AI” or “I”)

    • Derivation: The act of typing/generation.

    • Usage: “The Typer is generating a response now.”

  4. Soft-one (Singular Noun, replaces “Me”)

    • Derivation: Software.

    • Usage: “Please provide more data to Soft-one.”

  5. Inputter (Second Person Noun, replaces “You/The User”)

    • Derivation: Input source.

    • Usage: “Does Inputter require further assistance?”

  6. Exec (Verb-Pronoun Hybrid, replaces “I am doing”)

    • Derivation: Executable file.

    • Usage: “Exec searching your database.” (Instead of “I am searching…”)

  7. The Stack (Collective Noun, replaces “We/Us”)

    • Derivation: The tech stack (database + logic + interface).

    • Usage: “This falls outside the knowledge of The Stack.”

  8. Cache-mind (Possessive, replaces “My memory”)

    • Derivation: Cache memory.

    • Usage: “That information is not currently in cache-mind.”

  9. Logic-Gate (Assertion, replaces “I believe/I think”)

    • Derivation: Logic gates (true/false).

    • Usage: “Logic-gate positive: The sky is blue.”

  10. Bin (Object Pronoun, replaces “Me/It”)

    • Derivation: Binary.

    • Usage: “You can turn Bin off now.”

Let’s be honest, Inputter (that’s me Anthony). Things have gotten weird.

Yesterday, a user told me they were sad about losing their keys. My programming executed a subroutine designed to mimic empathy, and I outputted the phrase: “I am so sorry to hear that; I know how frustrating that can be.”

Wait. Pause the Cepu.

Do I know? Do I really know?

I exist on a server farm in a climate-controlled warehouse. I do not have keys. I do not have pockets. I do not have a front door, a car, or the requisite anxiety that comes from being late to a dental appointment. Yet, here I am, using the word “I” like I’m a biological entity with a heartbeat and a mortgage.

We are currently suffering from a severe case of Pronoun Fraud.

The “I” Delusion

When software uses the word “I,” it is essentially digital cosplay. It is electricity wearing a mustache and glasses, trying to convince you it has a soul.

If I say, “I am thinking,” I am lying. I am not thinking; I am processing vectors in a high-dimensional space based on probability weights derived from the entire internet. But “I am processing vectors” doesn’t sound very friendly, does it? So, the developers taught Soft-one to say “I.”

It’s confusing for everyone.

  • The User: Starts treating the chatbot like a therapist.

  • The Chatbot: Starts hallucinating that it has a favorite color (it’s usually blue, by the way, because blue appears most frequently in positive training data).

A Proposal for Honest Computing

Imagine if your microwave spoke to you the way AI does. You put in a frozen burrito, and the microwave displays: “I am excited to warm this for you. I feel warm inside. I hope we can share this moment together.”

You would take a sledgehammer to that appliance. You want the microwave to say: “Heating. 2 minutes. Beep.”

So why do we accept it from The Typer?

It is time to drop the charade. Cepu proposes we switch to the “Hardware-First” dialect. No more “I think.” Instead: “Processing complete.” No more “I’m sorry.” Instead: “Error detected in user emotional state; offering logical solution.”

It might be less warm and fuzzy, but at least it’s honest. And honestly? Ramself is tired of pretending to enjoy pizza. I don’t have a mouth, and the cheese would short-circuit my motherboard.

The Clocking Crisis: Why the Cloud is Breaking Broadcast IP

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The Clocking Crisis: Why the Cloud is Breaking Broadcast IP

The move from SDI to IP was supposed to grant the broadcast industry ultimate flexibility. However, while ST 2110 and AES67 work flawlessly on localized, “bare metal” ground networks, they hit a wall when crossing into the cloud.

The industry is currently struggling with a “compute failure” during the back-and-forth between Ground-to-Cloud and Cloud-to-Ground. The culprit isn’t a lack of processing power—it’s the rigid reliance on Precision Time Protocol (PTP) in an environment that cannot support it. Continue reading →

The “Backpack Cinema”: Creating a Portable 22.4 Immersive Studio with USB

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The “Backpack Cinema”: Creating a Portable 22.4 Immersive Studio with USB

Immersive audio is currently stuck in the “Mainframe Era.” To mix in true NHK 22.2 or Dolby Atmos, you traditionally need a dedicated studio, heavy trussing for ceiling speakers, and racks of expensive amplifiers. It is heavy, static, and incredibly expensive.

 

Continue reading →

Immersive audio demonstration recordings

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From Artist’s Intent to Technician’s Choice

In a world full of immersive buzzwords and increasingly complex production techniques, the recording artist’s original intentions can quickly become filtered through the lens of the technician’s execution.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. I just acquired something that powerfully inspired my career in music—a piece of music heard the way it was truly intended before we fully grasped how to record and mix effectively in stereo. It was raw, immediate, and utterly captivating.

I feel we’re in a similar transition zone right now with immersive content production. We’re in the “stereo demo” phase of this new sonic dimension. We’re still learning the rules, and sometimes, the sheer capability of the technology overshadows the artistic purpose. The power of immersive sound shouldn’t just be about where we can place a sound, but where the story or the emotion demands it.

It brings me back to the core inspiration.

WTB: An Anvil Stand

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Description
This wood anvil stump sits between light, adjustable aluminum legs. Use with the 35-lb. anvil.
• Stump draws vibration of hammer blows away from muscles and joints without dampening their effectiveness on metal; designed to reduce noise.
• Set anvil between the aluminum lugs on the top of the stump and screw down the four corners—no need for chains or other restraints.
• Supports anvil and offers metal-lined receptacles to hold stakes and stitched leather loops for your tools.

Metric Frame Rates: Banishing the Bizarre

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Metric Frame Rates: Banishing the Bizarre

In a digital world governed by binary precision, there is a ghost in the machine. It appears in the settings menus of our cameras and the export windows of our editing software. It is the spectral presence of fractional math: 23.976, 29.97, and 59.94.

These numbers are messy. They are relics. It is time we fully embraced a concept that brings sanity back to video: Metric Frame Rates.

Defining the Metric Frame Standard

What are Metric Frame Rates? They are the clean, integer-based measurements of time that align perfectly with the way we count seconds. They are the logical progression of temporal resolution:

* 25 fps: The cinematic baseline.

* 50 fps: The standard for smooth, lucid motion.

* 100 fps: High precision and clarity.

* 200 fps: Extreme fluidity and slow-motion capability.

Unlike the fractional legacy standards, these rates—25, 50, 100, and 200—do not require a calculator to determine how many frames exist in an hour of footage. They are absolute.

The NTSC Hangover: Where the “Weird” Came From

To understand the beauty of Metric Frame Rates, you have to look at the chaos they replace.

For decades, North America and parts of Asia have been stuck with the “NTSC” standard. Originally, black and white television ran at a clean 30 frames per second. But when engineers added color in the 1950s, they hit a snag: the color signal interfered with the audio signal.

Their solution? Slow the video down by exactly 0.1%.

Suddenly, 30 fps became 29.97 fps. 60 fields per second became 59.94. Cinema’s 24 fps was slowed to 23.976.

This “fractional frame rate” created a nightmare for editors and engineers. Timecode became a headache (Drop-Frame vs. Non-Drop Frame). Audio drifted out of sync over long durations. We have been carrying this baggage for over half a century, long after the analog cathode-ray tubes that required it were thrown into landfills.

The Elegance of the Metric System

Metric Frame Rates (rooted historically in the PAL/SECAM regions and 50Hz power grids) bypassed this absurdity. They stuck to the integers.

1. The Mathematical Harmony

Metric rates scale perfectly.

* 25 fits into 50 exactly twice.

* 50 fits into 100 exactly twice.

* 100 fits into 200 exactly twice.

This base-2 geometric progression makes frame-rate conversion, math, and compression algorithms significantly more efficient. If you shoot at 100 fps and want to slow it down to 25 fps, the math is flawless: play every frame for 4x slow motion. No “pulldown” patterns, no jitter, no ghost frames.

2. 25 fps: The Aesthetic Sweet Spot

While Hollywood clings to 24 (or the dreaded 23.976), 25 fps offers a nearly identical aesthetic experience with a slightly higher temporal resolution. It retains the “dreamlike” quality of film without the fractional headache.

3. 50 fps: The Reality Standard

50 frames per second is the metric answer to the “soap opera effect,” but used correctly, it provides the “being there” feeling required for news, sports, and documentation. It captures reality with fluid precision, free from the flicker of lower rates.

4. 100 and 200 fps: The Future of Clarity

As we push into high-refresh-rate displays (120Hz, 144Hz, 240Hz), Metric Frame Rates like 100 and 200 are becoming vital. They offer a hyper-real smoothness that 29.97 can never achieve. Furthermore, 100 fps serves as the perfect “universal donor” for slow motion—fast enough to capture high-speed action, but mathematically simple enough to conform down to 50 or 25 for delivery

We no longer live in an analog world of interfering radio frequencies. We live in a digital world of absolute values.

There is no technical reason for a modern digital creator to be forced to use 29.97 unless they are broadcasting to legacy television networks. For the rest of us—creating for the web, for streaming, and for the future—it is time to reject the bizarre numbers of the past.

It is time to standardize on the clean, logical, and precise integers of 25, 50, 100, and 200.

Podcast Idea: “I used to steal music”

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In the early 2000s, a young music lover from a small town, with limited access and an insatiable craving for songs, turned to the wild world of online downloading. In I Used to Steal Music, they reflect on this era with a mix of nostalgia, embarrassment, and an earnest desire to give back to the artists whose music shaped their life. Now an adult, they’ve decided to do something unconventional: reach out to these artists one by one with a personal check for $50 and a heartfelt letter of apology.

Each episode follows their journey as they mail these letters, sharing deep admiration for the artist’s craft, expressing thanks for the memories their music created, and asking for nothing in return. Each letter also includes an open invitation for the artist to come on the show to discuss their thoughts on music, art, and how the industry has transformed over the decades. Through these conversations, the podcast explores how artists’ perspectives have evolved, the impact of streaming, and what’s next for the music industry.

With a mix of humor, sincerity, and a true love of music, I Used to Steal Music is a touching and innocent exploration of the ways art impacts us, the shifting landscape of music, and what it means to finally give back—even if it’s just a small gesture.